www.thetimes.com/article/johannesburg-girl-lost-family-cousin-adopted-her-christmas-appeal-ss8kkrc92
Jane Flanagan, Johannesburg
Sunday January 12 2025, 8.05pm, The Times
Simphiwe, seven, was living in an orphanage that had no idea she had living relatives, but thanks to Hope and Homes for Children she was adopted by her cousin
Simpiwe Mohubedu with her adoptive guardian and cousin, Nosipo Mohubedu, at their home in Ivory Park, outside Johannesburg
MADELENE CRONJE FOR THE TIMES
Whenever a new face arrives at the door, seven-year-old Simphiwe panics that she is being sent back to the orphanage.
“We have to reassure her that she is now in our family and this is her home,” said Nosipo Mohubedu, 52, who fostered her young relative a year ago.
Mohubedu had grown up with Simphiwe’s mother Anna in South Africa’s Eastern Cape province, but the cousins had not spoken for years. Hearing that Anna was sleeping rough in Johannesburg, where she was also living, Mohubedu tracked her down and discovered Anna had a daughter she had abandoned at a few months old.
Simpiwe was rejected by her mother because her face reminded her of the man who had abused her
MADELENE CRONJE FOR THE TIMES
“I had no idea this child even existed and had been living in an institution for years, not even very far away from me,” Mohubedu said, shaking her head. “Anna told me Simphiwe reminded her of the man who had abused her and never wanted her back.”
Mohubedu, who has two daughters aged 14 and eight, began visiting Simphiwe at her orphanage. Saying goodbye became increasingly distressing for them both.
“There were too many children, there was no individual attention. I was thinking the worst about what was happening,” said Mohubedu, whose concern was well-founded.
Children who grow up in orphanages routinely suffer violence, abuse and neglect. Researchers have linked the lack of affection and attention given in institutions to to cognitive and development delays in young residents.
Simphiwe was a typical case; of the five million children in the world’s orphanages, 80 per cent have a living parent. The institution caring for Simphiwe had been given no family contacts by her mother.
After consulting her own daughters and partner, Mohubedu asked the facility if she could take Simphiwe home — for good.
The case was assigned to a team that included a Pauline Masera, a social worker from Hope and Homes for Children (HHfC), a British charity that works globally towards dismantling orphanages and placing children with families.
“Reunifying families takes time and care, but it is worth it,” said Masera. “Children need to be in a family to thrive.” The process began with Simphiwe spending weekends getting used to her new family at their home in Ivory Park, a densely populated, low-income suburb of Johannesburg.
There was also an adjustment for Mpho, 14 and Letabo, 8, to have a sister moving in to their room. Occasional friction is to be expected.
“Simphiwe can be a bit rough. She has always had to fight to get things like food and attention,” Masera said, who visits regularly and is always available on the phone. “It has taken a while for her to learn there is enough food and attention to go round.”
Simpiwe, seated next to Mohubedu, with her new sisters, Mpho, 14, and Letabo, 8. There have been the inevitable fights over the small bedroom the girls share but Simpiwe is now a permanent member of the family
MADELENE CRONJE FOR THE TIMES
Other new experiences are chewing meat — the orphanage was fed on fast food — and learning to speak Xhosa — a Bantu language of Eastern Cape province — as English was the lingua franca for children from all over South Africa.
Watching her three girls play, Mohubedu hardly remembers ever having only two. “They are equally my children. I am Simphiwe’s mother, but she gets scared that someone will take her away.”
Simphiwe throws wary looks at the visitors from The Times and Sunday Times, which is supporting HHfC in our Christmas charity appeal. Sessions of family therapy that the charity is helping to organise will help deepen bonds and settle challenges as they go through the formal adoption process.
Simpiwe’s school reports show she is doing well and is not showing her mother’s rebellious attitude that caused her descent into a drug addiction
MADELENE CRONJÉ
“We have made a good start,” Mohubedu said. She has not heard from Anna since she found her last year. Anna had been a wild child who had become addicted to drugs and made her mother sick with worry, Mohubedu said, admitting that she had worried that Anna’s child would be unmanageable. She produces Simphiwe’s school report with a proud smile. “She’s doing well”.
HHfC has operated in South Africa since 2001 and does most of its work in Gauteng, the province with the highest number of the country’s orphanages. Since then, the charity has helped hundreds of children to leave institutions for homes with foster and adoptive parents trained and supported by HHfC. Its establishment of early warning networks assists troubled families with getting help from local authorities that is available but not easily accessed. Training and supporting those willing to care for affected children in their own communities is preventing them from being handed over to orphanages.
“Simphiwe never should have gone into an institution,” her cousin said. ”She had a family. She should have been with us.”
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