By Nicole Wootton-Cane Senior reporter
06:12, 11 NOV 2024
Dani and Liam made a huge decision after researching adoption
Dani and Liam are now parents to two-year-old Eric (Image: Copyright Unknown)
When Dani and her husband Liam* talked about their future, they always imagined they would have children. What they hadn't factored in was how difficult that would be.
To this day, the pair don't know they can't conceive naturally - but they do know it was incredibly 'challenging' for them when they tried. As their yearning for a family grew stronger and seemed less likely, they each separately took to the internet, searching for a glimmer of hope.
They had both decided to research adoption - something Dani said she was always aware she 'might' do. She had no idea her husband was also actively looking into it. The couple are now parents to Eric*, a two-year-old boy, and Dani spoke to the Manchester Evening News about their journey through the adoption process.
"I've always had kind of like an underlying feeling that I would adopt at some point in my life, but I didn't realise that it would be my only route to having a child," Dani said. "We tried to conceive, and we don't know that we can't conceive, but we know that for us it was challenging.
"We both inquired about adoption the same time, but separately, so it was really bizarre. It was just kind of the right time, obviously, for us both", she said.
Dani and Liam spoke to a number of different agencies, but eventually settled on Together for Adoption, who serve the Cheshire West and Chester, Halton, St Helens, Warrington and Wigan areas. Around two years ago, in 2022, they attended the agency's information session, and instantly knew they were the 'right' place for them.
"I think there's so many reasons why people don't consider adoption," Dani said. "And I think some of those reasons we considered at the time.
"When we were originally inquiring the things that were going through our minds were, am I too old? Will we have enough money? Will our dogs be okay? Will we be considered overweight?
"There were so many different factors as to why we kind of questioned whether it was the right choice for us. But in the end, we just had to make the decision to inquire."
She said Together for Adoption's information session allowed the pair to open up the possibility that adoption could be their route to a family, and they've never looked back.
Dani said the process was 'intense' but necessary (Image: Manchester Evening News)
In April 2023, Dani and Liam began the extensive preparation sessions and assessments involved in adoption. She said only around half of the group her and Liam started with went on to decide that adoption was the right choice for them.
"I remember vividly in my mind there was another couple there, and they asked, when will the child be fixed?," she recalled. "It was really hard to hear because it was almost like watching the realisation that actually a lot of the children that are in the system and needing parents and adopters are unfortunately children from trauma and abuse.
"I think a lot of people's understanding of it is like long lost family on the TV where nobody ever talks about adoption and you didn't know you were adopted until you turned eight or your parents died," she said. "It's not like that. You talk about adoption from day one. Your main aim is to keep your child's identity alive."
Earlier this year, Dani and Liam brought home their child - a one-year-old boy. While Dani said she initially had imagined adopting a baby, she didn't feel she had missed any important 'firsts' when it came to Eric.
"That's one thing that I'd like to say to any prospective adopters is that you think you want the baby because you want to have all those firsts. But even since Eric came home to us, we've had so many firsts - we just don't feel like we've missed out."
Dani confessed the experience has been hard at times. She recalled being left with Eric without her husband for the first time after he returned to work, adding she felt 'lonely' and isolated. "I'll be honest, the first eight to ten weeks were really hard for me," she said. "The biggest message that I want to put out there is that, it is real to struggle.
"You have to be honest with your social worker and you have to talk about it. You have to build a network of adopters and other people that understand what you're going through."
Together for Adoption say they are there for couples who want to adopt (Image: Getty)
Now, Eric has just turned two, and Dani and Liam say they couldn't be happier. They urged any potential future adopters to 'trust the system' and be honest with themselves, adding they ended up with '100 per cent our little boy'.
"He's amazing," she said. "He's funny, he has grown incredibly, he's so confident - he's great. Wherever you go, people love him, and just watching that and being able to laugh is fab."
Hannah Jones, a social worker in adoption at Together for Adoption, said the agency welcome people from all different religions, sexual orientations, gender identities, and family backgrounds, and are particularly keen for adopters from the LGBTQ+ community.
"We actually want people from any sort of background because children come in all different shapes and sizes," she said.
Hannah added the agency are there to support adopters at any stage. "Adoption is lifelong. That's something that for Together for Adoption is essential.
"We want people to come to us all the time. We always say to families, if you ever get any niggles or anything where you're not sure, pick up the phone because, you know, we'll always offer support."
You can find out more about Together for Adoption here.
* All names have been changed to protect the child's privacy
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